A Book A Week

We are halfway through June, and I've come to the realization that I haven't read a single book to celebrate Pride Month. Granted, I try to read diverse works from a variety of authors all year long, but the absence of a book by a member of the very community I'm a part of is an egregious oversight on my part. Enter Just by Looking at Him by Ryan O'Connell. The cover of this one caught my eye at my local library, and I recognized O'Connell's name from his TV credits such as Queer as Folk and his Netflix series Special. His debut novel is equal parts comedic and tragic, the kind of multifaceted read that I couldn't put down. 

From the outside looking in, Elliot's life seems perfect. He lives in LA with his longtime boyfriend, and he has a successful career as a writer on a TV show. Beneath the surface, however, things are beginning to crumble. Elliot suffers from cerebral palsy which causes him to walk with a persistent limp. Although mild compared to others who suffer a similar fate, the disability completely obliterates Elliot's self-image and self-esteem. That's only the beginning of Elliot's issues. 

Elliot has been in a years-long monogamous relationship with his boyfriend Gus. As much as he loves Gus, Elliot can't help but feel as if he may have settled down too soon. Their evenings typically consist of watching Real Housewives and drinking way too much wine. As restlessness settles into his relationship, Elliot begins a dark spiral downward filled with sex workers, alcoholism, and drug abuse. He'll have to dig deep and find himself before his demons get the best of him. 

There's an interesting dichotomy at play in Just by Looking at Him. Author Ryan O'Connell's quick wit is peppered throughout the novel, giving the work a breezy pace and light-hearted air. At the same time, O'Connell doesn't shy away from the harsh realities of infidelity, addiction, and chronic illness. This came as a bit of a shock to me at first, especially given the congenial tone that the book opens with. I'll admit that I struggled to empathize with the main character at first. Much of his troubles stem from his own actions. Graphic sex-fueled benders illustrated the trajectory to rock bottom that he seemed to be on. As the novel progressed, however, I couldn't help but identify with his journey. Queer people have historically been made to feel shame and are often forced to hide who they are for much of their early life. The act of finding yourself and coming to terms with your sexuality often happens during young adulthood. That's the journey I faced as a young gay man, and that's what's ultimately depicted in this book. Depending on your own experiences, your mileage may vary, but I don't doubt that you'll find something to latch onto with this read. Just by Looking at Him was the perfect book to pick up in honor of Pride Month. 

For more information visit Amazon and Goodreads. 

(2023, 31)